ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
