Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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