I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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