apparently the secret to your success is patron
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
