Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
