Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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