I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
