fuck your aforementioned shoe
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
