Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize