She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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