Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
