his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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