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College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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