wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
