Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
FUCK WHALES
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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