My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
