bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
