Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
