so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
