i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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