He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
