We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
