I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
