Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
