I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
