You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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