Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
