I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
