You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize