you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
