the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize