walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
