Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Someone shattered a urinal.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
