to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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