i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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