Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
