We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.