He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"