i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
