he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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