do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
