Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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