I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
