your thong is hanging out like whoa
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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