what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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