He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
