hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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