Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
