Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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