Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
