I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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