Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
