I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We need to get me chipped asap
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
