I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
