he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
