Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
