Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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