she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
