Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
