My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize