Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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