Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
